Mum...Mum...MUUUUUUUMMY !

That's all I've been hearing the last few days. The two smallest are sick. Sick enough to be off school, but not sick enough to quit fighting and arguing and shouting for me, unfortunately. I prefer the sort of sickness where they are laying quietly on the sofa sleeping all day.

I'm one of seven children ( imagine that ), and when I was little my Mother frequently used to lock us out of the house all day, particularly during the long summer holidays, and can you blame her ?  When we wanted a drink/wee/something to eat, we used to have to crouch down and shout through the letter-box to ask if we could come in. This request was normally met with a reply of

' Mum's bum ' or

' Mother's Ass ' or

' You bloody kids give my ass a headache ' ( I never figured that one out until I grew up and had kids of my own, and then it all became crystal clear).

My Mum is 83 now and she still swears like a trouper and behaves very inappropriately. The kids think she's hilarious. One day, when I'm feeling brave, I'll share with you the rude rhymes she's taught them.

Anyway, *amazingly* I have managed to do a little bit of crafting. I spent last night sewing the binding on to Molly's quilt that has taken me over 4 years to make.

This is the first big quilt I've ever started and finished, and quite possibly it'll be the last. Let's just say you are not going to be getting any close up shots. There are so many mistakes I wouldn't know where to start, but it looks just fine from a distance.

Unforunately, I don't have a 'Thomas' - in house colorist extraordinaire, to give me advice like Jane does ( I've tried offering her a swap - two of my children for one of hers but she's having none of it), so I made it up as I went along.  If I try to plan things out I get in a tizzy-wizzy about not repeating patterns, and balance and stuff, my brain just doesn't seem to work that way, so I wing it - with mixed results.

Luckily, I like how this has turned out, I like the way deeper valued squares seem to have gravitated towards each other to make lines and shapes ( even though I seem to remember I was trying to avoid that happening), and I like the random-ness of it. I do like a bit of random in everything, so this quilt suits me just fine.

And the poorly girl seems to like it,

she's been snugged up today with Poorly Martin. I never showed you Poorly Martin's *piece de resistance* for cheering up sick children did I ?

Probably because, back then, I'd only just started my blog and I was trying to fool you all into thinking I was a nice, genteel English girl. Obviously, I didn't manage to keep up that pretence for long anyway, so I'll leave you with Poorly Martin..

the

bottom flasher.

Bad boy Martin !

 

Comments

[Angel Jem]

I love Martin, the cheeky chappy! Do you mean to say when you first started blogging you put on your telephone voice? I am surprised at you!
And, I know you can see every missed bit, frayed patch or little error in the quilt but may I say, from my distance it looks gorgeous and I don't think in years to come your kids will look at it and say "Mum made so many mistakes in that quilt, didn't she?" It's more likely to be "Mum loved us enough to make that quilt for us." Mind you, you may have to pop your clogs first, like Van Gogh, before your true genius is recognised.

[Zoe]

HAHAHA! Martin the bum flasher made my day, thank you and hope your clan are feeling much better soon.

[Carrie]

He is too funny, and your little girl is too sweet! I love the quilt. I think it's wonderful.

[kristin]

your quilt is beautiful. i was admiring
how it appeared to be random and then
continued reading on to find out that you
truly did create it randomly. i love the
outcome. and that poorly martin guy
is pretty great too.

[melissa]

Toot sweet I love it all I so much enjoy your blog. The little bum is the best. I had a doll as a child that had a squishy bum and that was so one of my favorite dolls.

[melissa]

Toot sweet. I love it all and I so much enjoy your blog. The little bum is the best. I had a doll as a child that had a squishy bum and that was so one of my favorite dolls.

[melissa]

sorry for the double post!lol

[Racheal]

Your mum sounds excellent, very much like my nan when I was a kid, she also taught me allsorts or rude rhythms and jokes.
She was great fun.

I have added you to my blogroll.

Racheal x

[autum]

This post made my day. I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of Poorly Martin and his little pink bum.

[tyn]

Lyn- I love ya. Thanks for always bring a smile to my day. Martin is so wonderful, and something your children will remember forever! I don't think he's a cheeky monkey- I think you are!
p.s. the quilt is beautiful.:)

[Stacy]

...i just love how your sense of humor seems to come out in all of your pieces. The little bum is wonderful, as is the quilt. OH, and do share those naughty rhymes sometime as my naughty mind would surely savor them.

[Old Round]

I love those kind of mothers. I felt better about my own status as a mother after reading David Sedaris. He loved his mom and she wasn't g-rated either.
Hurray for quilts with mistakes! Just like some moms.

[Anna]

My Mother used to lock us out of the house when we lived in California, there were 4 of us and we didn't want to leave the air conditioning, especially on days when it was so hot the roads were starting to melt! She did let us in to use the toilet or get a drink though! :o)

[Perch Home]

This whole post made me laugh outloud. Thank you!

[Blair]

Gorgeous quilt, gorgeous bum! I've got a little one at home sick today too. Thanks as always for the chuckle, I needed it.

[Christelle]

First of all your quilt is extraordinary, just because it's handmade with love, and you make me laugh...Your mother...your childhood...your children...and at least Martin....thank you :D

[Sarah]

Your mother "behaving inappropriately" cracks me up. Almost more than the butt on Martin. LOL

[Kristy]

I think I need a Poorly Martin too!

[risa]

i love martin! when i was little i had a baby doll whose bum could be exposed and she was may favorite, mostly because of her bum.

[Rebecca]

I remember being locked out of the house too, ahh the good ole days! Social Services spoil everything these days.

I think the quilt is gorgeous, this is just the sort of quilt I have fantasized about ever since I had a daughter. I picture it in a lovely white washed room with lots of pretty things on wooden shelves (nothing like the Polly Pocket strewn minefield that my daughter actually sleeps in). It has that lovely vintagey look already, beautful.

And as for Martin! Thanks for the chuckles, not what I was expecting as I scrolled down the page.

[Amy]

Oh my heck... Martin is killing me!

[theresa]

I shall look forward to more of this from you; as you continue to entertain us all as you come out of the blogcloset... Tell us all the dirty jokes and things, PLEAAZEEE!
The quilt is quite lovely and please do send a kiss to Molly for speedy recovery--Billy too. Poor Billy--How come we never get to see Billy? Oh, and I do need those stats on Molly--ASAP!!!!
Oh and Thanks for the chuckle.

[Jane]

I love the way your post begins with references to your Mum's bum and ends with another bit of rudeness.

Lovely quilt. Tom would approve, too.

[brandie]

this post made me laugh out loud. just imagining you yelling thru the slot, and your mom's reaction. and so glad to know i am not the only one that has a mom who swears like a sailor.
i have a quilt i have been "working" on for 4 years and I just can not finish it. you are giving me hope that one day i might. and i think your quilt is gorgeous!
okay, and the bum flashing is just awesome.

[earthchick]

Fabulous, fabulous quilt. And I *love* Poorly Martin!!