Uncle D

WIP

cutting up squres to make a quilt for me Molly's room, I bloody hate the cutting up part of quilt making, if I were rich I'd employ a cutter-upper, I bet all the big-guns of the quilting world have a cutter-upper person.

I'm escaping this weekend. I'm off to visit my lovely sister and brother-in law, and my favourite little nephew Harvey. I'm going to visit them because their much loved waggy dog Charlie left this world last week and I need to give my sister some hugs. Charlie was the loveliest, most placid dog (who never complained about little people poking him in the eye, or trying to pull his tail/ears off, or using him as a trampoline) I have ever met,and he will be missed by our family as much as a human being would be missed.

I'll be taking a fine bottle of wine and we will sit,and have a good old laugh about the time Charlie stole Molly's maltesers with a quick flick of the tongue, or the day he had the horrendous sh*ts on the train when Kay brought him down to visit us (very funny story to me, not so funny for her).

While I'm on the subject of my sister, I have to give a mention to her husband,my brother in law, ' Uncle D ' because he has the driest sense of humour that I've come across in many a year (bearing in mind that we Brits love to be insulted and humiliated a dry sense of humour)

Uncle D, is from 'up north' as we say in this country, which basically means you don't mince your words - you say exactly want you think with a large dash of humour thrown in. Northerners are the British equivalent of New Yorkers, which is one of the reasons I loved New York so much, you might get told off or hollered at by someone, but that someone has a twinkle in their eye.

This is a typical conversation I have with my brother in law when I telephone..

Ring.. ring...ring..ring..

Uncle D..."Hello ?"

Me..." Hellooo, it's me, your favourite sister in law !".

Uncle D..........................................(long pause)

Uncle D... "Oh, hello Auntie Carole".

Me..."Yeah right , very funny, it's me - Lynn".

Uncle D..."So you are coming to see us this weekend ?"

Me... "Yes !  Whoopee ! - I'll be arriving on friday evening !"

What comes next is a very heavy, very audible ,deeply sad sigh..... and then silence.

And then eventually..

" I'll pass you on to your sister"

He loves me really.

I think.

I hope you have a lovely weekend , and speaking of funny men I'll leave you with this.

Comments

[Ali]

Have a fun weekend - I love chopping fabric up. I feel all powerful and mighty wielding my rotary cutter.

[Mama Urchin]

Before I figured out how to sew I would cut for my mom and she would sew. It was my payment for getting her to make something for me. Maybe you can enslave, I mean ask, one of your children?

[hollyinva]

what a wonderful hoot for the am!
my husband had one immediately after our 3 babe in 3.5 years. 2.5 yrs later it was reversed and we had 2 more in 13 months. now I am tied up in macrame knots.

have a wonderful visit with your sister, nephew & brother-in-law.
holly

[hollyinva]

whoops, I left my message for family planning with the 'cutters'.....may be a good freudian slip of the computer fingers........
h

[Uncle D]

I was just overcome with emotion at the thought of my favourite sister in-laws visit. Just thinking about your imminent arrival rings tears to my eyes.

[lyn]

Re the above comment - That wouldn't be sarcasm would it Uncle D ?

[Mary]

I love the fabric you are using for Molly's quilt!

[Caroline B]

Be sure to give your sister lots of TLC - you never realise how important a dog was until they're not there any more. My whole family must be related to Uncle D - you have my sympathy......!

[melissa]

You don't know me but I enjoy reading your blog. I am so sorry about the pooch. I lost my little cairn last year about this time so I know how everybody feels -- it is so sad. But, just remember the joy he brought and he will always be with you.

[Muza]

I also hate the cutting up part. I either do it on the floor, then my knees hurt, or at the table, then my back hurts!

[janet clare]

Have just about stopped laughing after following your last link!

No doubt you will cheer everyone up over the weekend too.

[Carrie]

Oh boy did you make me laugh! This post reminds me of a line from The Pursuit of Love-"There was drama when Linda aged 10 attempted suicide in order to rejoin an old smelly Border Terrier which Uncle Matthew had to have put down" And you are so right about New Yorkers!

[CrystalT]

I wholeheartedly agree about cutter uppers. There is a need for such people. Now we need to know where are they and how cheap can we hire them. It is the worst part of making a quilt. (not that I am a quilt expert. I suck at them to be honest)

Love the link. I have printed it out and will hand off to my hubby when he arrives home. Must remember to alert him that it is just a joke to laugh with his Army buddies about and not a new birth control method to try. Very important to remember that part!

[Anna]

Your Uncle D sounds an awful lot like our Uncle G. And I mean awful in the most sincere way!

Love your fabric choices. Spunky.

[Hay]

I gave up on my cutting upping, sigh! I have the attention span of a nat.
Have a relaxing wine swilling break!! I just love northeners, my hubby has northern blood (Cumbrian/Scottish) but mix it with a southern upbringing and you get a sarcastic wind up merchant.

[loletta]

That is a very dry sense of humour ...
Like I said before I like english sense of humour the way you tend to say things , they sound so funny, but very simple when translated into Spanish , it looses the spark!
you´ve taken very long time to write . Did I tell you I have a blog: www.sweetloletta.blogspot.com, maybe you don´t understand it, well anyway you are on it as favourtie link.

[Joanna]

I love the cutting up but I am a bit random about it all. Have a good weekend

[dorkyquilts]

Oh, I hate the cutting too! I've recently abandoned my rotary cutter to go back to scissors. It takes longer, but I'm forced to go about it at a more leisurely pace. Less back aches that way.

[Biff]

LOL What a fab sign.
Have a great weekeend.

(from the north)

[Andrea]

I do not get far with the cutting up as I am too interested in looking through my fabric choosing what I could cut up. Going round in circles I think. I am starting to attempt a quilt for my daugther. She is 5 and has a junior bed so I had better get a move on before she upgrades to a full size single!

[Jo Black]

Hee hee, you made me laugh a lot! as a fellow northerner, living with a northern bloke I can completely identify with your phone conversation. You have to feel sorry for the northern bloke really - they're a tiny bit emotionally stunted (but in the nicest possible way!)

[charlotte]

o, so sorry about dear Charlie! a dog like that is such a loss- I miss my Jake like a person too.
and btw, Uncle D would have to be a whole lot faster with his insults in NY. we don't wait around for those. ;)

[Rebeca]

I hate cutting too. actually, the only parts I like about quilting are the dreaming up parts and the quilting with someone else parts. But I like those so much that I quilt alot.

[Gail]

I Love it! Too Funny!
I hate cutting! I Love sewing but I would let anyone cut my pieces/ patterns.

[retrorose]

What a hilarious post. He sounds a character (the dog and Uncle D).